Never understand.

I realised.
I am confused.

Sometimes. I miss things.
It provokes too much emotions.
I desire peaceful feeling.
Even though seeing you, makes my whole day indifferent.
Happy or sad.
Neither.
I juz dun wan to let you control my my feeling.

You re never mine.
N i never wanted you to be.
Not worth.
But never regret.

You re hers.
You re theirs.
I think i am crystal clear.

Hmmm.... bought mnay maxi dress on my last shopping trip tgt with some really pretty pairs of earings...
Got the boots i wanted. Awesome.
Think i dun need to go shopping le ba... Learn to be contented kay gal ...

Orh... going  out with Jengyu on Wed. Out for movie hurray XD
THEN sunday going out as a group hohoho...


Life is so awesome.
At least in some sense.

In another Life

I have known you for my whole life.
If there's a day. I am no longer in the world.
If one day i juz go.
People dun be sad.
Cos it is juz fated??

Made Fu Bags For daniel n Paby
=)
My infection seems getting beta'
But recently i am losing too much blood.
Yea...

I almost forget you le.
Is it okay ?
Cos i'm glad that you longer occupy my heart.
It should be emptied out.
You re hers.
You re theirs.
Sunday doesn't need any thing that is not perfect whole.

Maybe in another life, we meet again.
who knows.

MY TAIL HURTS

GOD I KNOW YOU LOVE
SO DO I
HAVE MERCY ON ME N HEAL MY
TAIL !

It really hurts.
Haiz....
Can't run
can't sleep
can't swim
can't walk -.-


HAIZ HAIZ HAIZ

I am happy !

Finished science paper
hahaha
quite screwed lar
Pass okay liao... T.T

Off i go Orchard to buy some things .......

<3

You re the apple to my pie.

We re the perfect two .
Babe me n you.


Bei ah you need to study =.= stop slacking.
I will start studying n lock myself today!
Come on you still have physics and bio n geo that you HAVE not start yet man...
Good luck .

Sunday ah
Sianz. All that they have known is enough.
Feel like rewinding the time back to where that is without you.
Go back to where i used to play the swings
Where i am still innocent

He said she said : Bei ah, so long never call you bei.
wahaha...

Halo. Dun need to look back to the past. It's never the same.
I'm fine. Really great.
Dun worry for me.

Okay need to go church le . Talk again.

为了爱。我就是这样

黑指甲。短头发。有些话。不用讲。

我就是这样。

写好的遗言也要用力唱
祭拜我我们为了爱的疯狂

Sometimes. I am sick of all these.
Yea. Rather pathetic isn't it.
All that i had faced through these years.
If,It wasn't Christ's strength.
I would have been so brokened.
So keep me in prayer.


Happy that you will leave me alone. Yea.
You re juz not, n never been the one I eva want. =)
You dun understand me.
So there's nothing to be sad about.
Perhaps a release and a happy ending.

我，要得。谁都无法给我。 是谁，又再讨价还价，拍卖着爱的重量？

I am weird gal. I know.
Someone eva says.

Tough  stubborn 

sensitive yet fragile.

It is so contradicting.

Always.

That's the way i am made. Hahahha.

Even in times i dun understand myself too.

So yea hate me or love me.

I won't be bothered.

有谁。可以告诉我。要怎么才能，为爱不再疯狂？

 

How Far is forever?

Tomorrow marks the start of the EOY. Hopefully we will all do well.
So juz do our best n leave it to God.

How Far is Foreva?
I wonder.

Music Of my life

I miss it.
I had never though that my passion for it will still be here after so many months.

Yep. I miss my violin.
But i dun think i will touch it though.
Haiz. Haiz.

Dun know why.


I get very annoyed when people dun reply msg n gone missing for hours after starting a convo?
What the ? If you wan to tok juz tok dun be so random and stop the convo leaving me hanging no where.
If not dun tok to me, i am fine with it.

Mummy is comming back soon with all my presents etc...
I need to get many things after exam haiz... So much to do also.
I need to find one day for myself to go somewhere peaceful n spent the whole night for myself alone.
Like what i had use to do. I need music, vodka and starry night.

Need to buy toner, whitening cream, eye-mask, ***** and **** and *****
many other things ... saving up quite alot. Gud !

Exam is very near. Dun panick my dear gal you will fine.
Nite people. Nite violin. Nite sunday'sweet escape.



N lastly. I'm not the one you r looking for. Dun wait.. Dun hope.


Sweet Dream my sweet escape.

你是。无形的伤口

我想。渐渐的忘记
忘记。你曾存在过的
遗迹。

忘记。任何属于你的
气味。


好像。说过的。不，记得。

Happy.
Sad.
Good.
Bad.

Is all without you. In this sweet madness, glorious sadness.
I love the way i force myself, how pathetic.

You can't see. You won't know.
The things that have changed.
I got to hold on the fading feelin.
Dun let it pass by.

Not much of sorrow but slightest pinch.
Now that i dun owe anyone anything.
Do i?


渐渐，忘记
忘记。时间

其实，一切
只是。虚无，瞬间。

Study Is all that in your mind.

What else can i say ? What else can i do? Now i thirst to east all the content in my textbooks ^^
I really want to do well n better for my EOY cos i know i haven reach my limit.

I can definitely do better. I believe i will . So right now right away i will be focus and study like i had never been. I want to feel no regrets after i took the papers. So i can forgive myself for enjoying the days after exams n BURN all the textbooks.


So, Ya. I will work hard.
Dear heavenly abba, Bless me give me the strength from the holy spirit n the wisdom to do well in  the exams so i can glorify you n give you praise.
I will do well. For everything is so according to your plans.

Amen..


Good luck gal.

寂寞。寂寞。就好

我寂寞。寂寞。就好。
这时候，谁都不要来安慰我。就好。
就让我一个人，痛到受不了，伤到快疯掉。
人不来就，寂寞的。

I realised the emptyness. Not the pain.
Much more to the sorrow. It do hurts in some sense.

I only know that sometimes do miss you deeply, though they tell me not to.
For i shouldn't i ought not to. Yea. I shouldn't have. But, yet, still, i did.

Perhaps, juz give me sometime on my own. Dun come n comfort me.
Let me be alone. Heal it well.
I will be fine. Really Fine.

Awesome people like us...

HAD a Super Awesome Day !
Yes you guys are wonderful man.....


In the morning took HSK exam =='' quite easy... Den went lunch with Garlic n Annie at Mac...
Saw 389s n Jiaxuan ... so eat eat den i rush off to meet the class at BI afeotanical Garden...
Super long ride ; ( Den the epic thing is i drop off two stop before the actual stop .... eh... so i got to take a bus again becos it is 1.1 km away n i will get lost ....

Meet them had a great time sitting on the grass hahax... ShiFu still made us had a presentation n we sang songs after tat...Sadly our fren leonard is allergy to POLLEN ?? OMG ... it is so..... haiz so we left to buy him medicine... ehh... i wish we could had stay longer leh... didn't mange to play blind mice ...

I got a chance to be blindfolder and let ben ben guide me to walk to entrance gate. Trust me the feeling is fascinating .. yet definitely so horrible. Imagine you in total darkness n all you could do is to trust your friend n follow you ears n feel ?....i feel so sorry for the blind people. It also make me wonder have us do enough for the the disabled in the society? How is it also possible to endure the total darkness n fear ?
Hopefully when i'm grown up. I can n will do something to change the world n help the people. If only i can.......

So we went to ION XD had dinner n camwhore all the way hahax.... Pim went into NEW LOOK n she tried on this 10 inch high heel... she is super gorgerous... looked like a model ; D <3 YA HUBBY
I'M so proud of you (your 1.8 height) .... hmmm... dinner at Opera food house... NICE ...

Den leonard, pim, siyun , annie n i decided to go bugis shopping at 7 ... went to take NEOprints ... n it is definitely awesome hahax so epic ... everyone look so pretty n shuai !

Shopped with annie... brought a dress too ....
Home people... we crap all the way ..............


YES WE ROCK TTM ... AWESOME PEOPLE !

Dear Sisters n Brothers ... you guys r awesome... Thanks for the wonderful day.
Hope through this outing it make us even more bonded as we welcome the new members joining our Saturday Family...

Btw LEONARD PS: We were really worried about you ... ==' PLS GET WELL SOON K <3

I dun know how long this feeling gonna last ...

I know it's very bad. But still i hate myself to the core for this horrible feelings. Utterly disgust. Why :(
It's like i'm having spiritual attack having PMS ? I dun know ... But i only know i'm sorry. Yea. I'm sorry.

Today is quite a okay-okay dae? Study n lessons are quite relaxing. Chiong my compo like crazy wrote 4 pages. Yes i am crazy ...

Eh.. i will rush through all my holiday homework tonight and practice my guitar. One thing, here i seriously pray n hope that i can score more than 3.5 but i know i can't. I really did tried my best le. So haiz....
The september holiday is around the corner. Oh yea. Saturday is having class outing at Botannical garden Sunday's celebrating mum's birthday .Monday's going out. Tuesday n wednesday's staying overnight at Rachael's house with annie. Thursday n friday i will leave it for all my studies. Great plan.

Tohwenjing ah Tohwenjing. switch off my phone for the next 3 days. Yes need to peace. Need to clear the clouds on my head.

Dear God.

I hate myself for the feeling. I am utterly upset. I dun wish to hurt anyone. Father guide me to the right path to make the right decision. Forgive me too. That will be the last time i will do it. After that i will cut off the connection. Father. Let me be fill with peace. Amen

Don't stop believing !

Don't stopn believing .

Things will be okay.

N i happy now.

Feeling is fade.

I'm oh so happy.

Someone says.

Why are you so hot on the outside yet

so cold from the inner of your soul?

I dun know.

Things are good.

Like it has always been.

I am moving.

I am flying.

I am going.

Not gonna stop for anyone.

The world is feel so much infinity.

I will explore and see the great world.

Hey.

Where's my soul brother?

Hey where are you?

Hey the ring on my left hand.

Thanks for the constant reminder.

Hey the puzzle on my neck

thanks for telling me that pass is pass.

N there's always a new begining !

I love the way life is.

When you re gone.

Will i cry for you?

I dun know.

Cos i suddenly dun feel anything anymore.

So sorry dearest.

You will be okay will you.

Hope so.

My happiness is mine. Yes. Sunday. You will be always. Happy.

为我好。

为什么。 沉默比争吵更难熬。
可你说，有些问号答案不必找。
这是，为我好。

Life seems to be a regular routine. Wake up school home sleep. Robotic life : (
Exams Assignments Grades. I can't imagine I ve spent 12 hours in school. 7 hours in bed. 2 hours in train.
N d remaining 3 hours home.

Dear God.
Everythin is in your hand. You know us well. Teach us the right way to grow. Spiritually n mentally.
Though we re forced to be in such a learning enviroment. Where competitions and achievements seems so natural to us. Bless us with the strength to walk on, in this tedious journey.
Amen.

As i always believe. Time can fade everything. I feel so peaceful yet empty in someway.
Maybe it is good maybe it is not. But life still got to move on. Yes. It has to.

We are flooded with work this week. Choosing Subject-comb soon. I dun have to worry much
cos to get into Bicultural Class should be okay. Juz gotcha get A1 for both LangARs n HCL.

Tsk...tsk...

为何在恨消失的时候。
爱，依旧挽回不了。

dun bother anymore

Recently I feel life is getting on my hand...
Gud isn't it?
I won't think of things that i am not suppose ?

oh i wan to watch AfterShock. Heard tat it is pretty touching . Hmmm.. must find one to watch wif me
Yea.. Maybe ShiFu ?

I am a sensitive kid. Yea i know. N i am damn emotional >.< Yea i know. I am a weird stubborn gal.
Yea i olso know. Hahas but that's me ! N if i were to change anypart of me it won't be me anymore.

I realised tat the distance between us is growing bigger. We always protect each other trying to show that nothin has been changed but is it possible ? Is it me or is it you? I suppose it is us, gal.

We r juz so different in times. Yet i enjoy the status now peaceful n great. Still n yet i dote on you, no matter what. Fate like to him.

Hmmm had a hard time counting money ? Being a treasurer is not easy == had to tolerate people's complain abt being broke ect...

It's late le. I'm tired. Sleep ba Jing.




Sometimes we r juz so different. I dun know but i'm glad wif this status now. Peaceful.

Sweet Sixteen

该过的。会过得


该放的。我抓不住了。



我不想舍得。可是，心也不由衷。

说谎伤害，又何必呢？



最终，我学不会的。学会了。

你呢？



献给我最酸最甜的十六岁。





Sweet Sixteen. To my sweetest yet bittest Sixteen.
I finally let go. The burden inside my heart. Leaving no pain, sorrow nor any regret. Juz simple
yet beautiful memories. Why hold on so tight? Why not let go? Whyy not start anew? Why not forgive ? It seems that the weather today is cool. The sky is so blue. My heart is so light.

I'm glad. Really do. Although it's hard to neglect that pinch inside but everything will fade more n more. Then there it goes disappear into the future.

It's gonna be a brand new beginning. My sweetest n purest start. I will be okay. I got to move on and be who i am.

Thank you my Galic Gal. Abnormal Shopperholic. Miss Gong ect ect... For the Surprise Party today XD. Sweet thought. Great Gift. Sweet sixteen.
Of cox and all those who sent me wishes via Msg, Facebook, Msn ect...
You guys re so awesome.

Thank you Xinmei Baobei , DE, Emily Laopo, Potato Angeline for making the sweet effort to wake up at 0000 today to juz wish me a happy birthday. Love Ya.
I love all the presents n everything. Yes The Cards R beautiful. The album of Desperation Band is awesome n i love it. Everythin is great. However what i really wanted is very simple.
Just someone giving me 1 sunflowe and whisper to me : Gal thankyou for bein in the world.
With the most tender hug. That's all. ; D

There is still 7 hours left now. Will anyone do what i had desired? Even if there isn't. I alrdy glad. Cos all i have is good enuf. Really.



God thank you.

For everything.

N answering my prayer.

N made the right decision Last night.

Father.

You gotta ignore .

我会慢慢习惯
习惯对你的忽视

Right Now at Kaixin's house doing MPW ... Super Funny ; D
Yea we manage to finish within hours XD
Good job Good job...

I know he is angry. But nothing can be done nor i wana do anything. Let me JUST leave this out ...
Cool . Today is a chilling day. Love ya...

Hmm gonna finish my music video n meet angel l8ter... CELEBRATE birthday again ??
Yesterday was great.. Although i wished XiaoZi Had given me something more solid so i can keep as memory? Never mnind it was still a great night too... Love ya !!

Tonight i will need to play guitar ... practice hard...
Should I still go out on wednesday . Is there still a need . Everything to be so monotonious. Not much of strong feel for anything. Juz Peace.

Dear Lord. Guide me kay. I wana be a child that glorifies you and brings u utmost praise...
Amen...


In the arms of the angel faraway
In this sweet madness. Glorious Saddness.

我不想舍得。也不想懂得。

我不想舍得。也不想懂得。
可是，心却言不由衷。开始曲折。

Yesterday, after Church. Went home. Date Pim out for movie at illuma.
Betting with myself that chances with come by if it is fated. Yea it did. But i realised i'm not as happy as what i thought i will be.

Mum eva said to me: Gal dun fall into love. You will lose yourself n all your sanity. Like i did.
Perhaps what pim said is right. In life you're intelligent and smart in your own way. Yet you will lose all the IQ with comes to emotion.

I won't deny this fact. Yea. I followed mum's path. Too much like her is no good. Juz realised my tempo's like her. Stubborn and emotional.

Inception is really a great movie. Dream n Reality. Your desire n conscience. Will everythng will be hidden wif deep solitude? Juz that it is a little too draggy.

Hmmm.. I realise time will fade everything. Feelings are starting to fade. Heart is starting to be hardened. Isn't this what i ve prayed ? Praying that everything will be healed perfectly leaving not single hint of it behind?
But why i feel strange? What's wrong with me?


 Dear heavenly father if this is what you want in my life,
Let it be. I surrender all myself to you. Let the holy spirit guide me onto the right path.
Let me not be tempted by any sins, even hints of it.
For your words said thru word, Not sinner can enter your kingdom. Therefore as child of god we should imitate Our Father. Yet you are so worthy. Thru Grace you redeemed us again. Cleaning our sins with the precious blood of christ and we are again allowed the enterance of the heaven gate.
O-Lord. Bless me.

Amen.




不想了。不痛了。也，不累了。
多好。

I need some time of my own.

Great . People good morning.

I am all dressed up n ready to celebrate Mrs Koh's birthday XD

Shiufu !!!! Happy 53rd birthday ...(OPPS...did i revealed you age ??0.o : P)

I'll juz do a quick prayer.

Dear Heavenly father,

A very big thanks for all things you provide. Father juz be here wif me in such a great saturday.

Let me enjoy every single moment wif joy, peace, n faith.

I want pray for my Shifu. She has been an awesome tuitor, mother, friend for all these yrs.

N she is such a wondeful lady. Father i prayed that you will soften her heart, let her come to christ n know you as the heavently father. I can't bare the pain of losing her in hell. Father also bless her in her life n guide

her whenever she is in-need.

Dear lord, I juz prayed today thru your work, things will go well n smooth.

In you utmost precious name i pray. Amen

I can do it de. I won't try to think of that somebody anymore.