New Begining

I am seriously busy TDM.
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Now that i am trying my best to keep you out of my mind out of my eyes.
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Had a busy day. I am getting really frustrated and annoyed these days. Dunnno why... Juz Feel pissed.
Yea... Had to mug mug mug for all the up-coming common test ect.
N i seriously need to practice my music >.<

我不再逃
空虚日子
这一路都在熬
也许爱情就是孰能生巧

让生活染上一些颜料
是红橙黄或蓝椗紫都好

Went studying wif Pim at library. Yea had a great time mugging <3 Den we took dinner before going to choose the jewellery for mrs koh. Humm... Love the day ya... Although it seems so tiring and ever boring ==
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Why do we need to say I love you. To prove the finest feeling inside our heart? I have yet telling people that i love them. Am i always feel that this 3 words should not be treated like a habitual sentence, such as : Good morning .

I need some time of my own kay. Dun force me to do wat i dun like. Dun try to own me . Cos i am never anybody's. I juz dun get use to the status we are in ... ... N doesn't it suppose to the some kinda of secrete huh? Never mind (W) i know you won't get wat i mean... Tsk... Tsk

I will work hard !　Ｗａｋａｋａｋａ．．．．．．．．．．．
Need to try my best to really do well for my term 3 cos i juz dun wan to study humans in EOY >.<
N time is rushing out juz too much.......... I am suffercating !!

Hey Mind stop stalking me ?! Btw our bet is still on !!!!!

busy busy...

I am busy. Every second seems so precious to us.
OH man~ There's hardly time for me to practice my guitar, revise for my CTs n Exams
N the time for me to spend with my brother. Oh no....


Haiz Haiz i am getting breathless... Stress ....
Busy Busy...
Juz let me use the time wisely n spent each second with a worthy value XD

Good also. Busyness can numb me and let me not to 想太多


ALL IN ALL ! COME ON BABY... you can do it de.......~~~~~

I am so happpy... But so tired !

smile sundae

I am tired. Yea <3 I am.

Cried like crazy. I think i must have looked hilarious right gals?
Didn't wana cry at all. Hate my tears. Yea i do. But anyway i felt much beta now.
Some kinda being embrace in Peace.

Thanks Mrs Wong n Mrs Koh.For all the care n concern. I will be fine. Dun worry about me.
I will need to take care of My brother. At least that is the only things i can do.
Yes i am tired. But i won't snap i will take good care of myself.

Siyun,Tingfang,Pim.
Thanks for the encouragements. I guess you guys know more about what has been happening about me. N the great stories that seemed all ready to put into a Tv Drama

Not that i wana take d responsiblity n burdens on my shoulders. But i am put in an enviroment that
i will need to do so. I shouldn't be blaming anyone. Yea Mrs Koh is right. Nor i should ve been punishing myself for their mistakes. But i love them still. All those who hurt me. Let me just learn to live for myself now. Acc all that has happened will be lessons that i learn n grow. Be hurt and be stronger. Be ready for the future? 0.O

Dear God, I cry you. I wana you to take all d sorrow that is built inside.
Let me be stronger spiritually. Amen.

Next time. Dun let me cry again like today again. I look dumb ==
Haiz Tsk Tsk Tsk....
Forget it larrrr...  我很想睡觉 XD

Tok something else. I have made appoinment for my hairdo next week. Gonna change my hair style.
That means i should save up this week.

I am doing well not missing you. I am not trying to contact you. I am happy now.
I have the ring around my finger. I am making the promise for myself. Two years seems so long seems
so far. But it will pass in the twinkle of the eye.  See you soon >.*

I will work very hard. I know where i wana go. I am loss. I am okay.
smile Sundae.

Oh Man. Juz get out my head.

I just need you to get out of my head.
I thought feelings are meant to be fade.
Time will healing everything.
But it did not apply for now. Haiz ...

Why. Why. Why.
My heart juz sink down down down down down.
==

You see d point ? 不看不听不说不想就不会有感觉？
but this feeling juz suppress and overflow somehow
I will not say anything, juz let it by-pass me man. This is good.

Juz transfer my focus wherelse. But i know this feeling is still there. Like it has always been. Tell me lord father. If jealousy and sorrow is what is overflown in my heart now. Take them away from me. Just let it get out of my head. Ahahaha...

Now, Serious. I am just gonna focus even harder. Life is easy n simple already. But will i make any decision again that changes my life. Yes. I will.
Den at least pray that i will survive thru it all. N enjoy the process of everything n color my own story. I happy now. Yea i do : ) Much simpler n peaceful. But.. But ... But... the things in my head is making me go T.T
go... go ... go away... dun keep messing up my brain kay!

Umm.... My birthday is coming le yea ~
And i am gonna make it memorable. I will go to the blood donation bank @ outrum park. I feel pretty excited on donating my blood. Each drop counts and can save people out there. Our blood is juz like the gift of life. Father i juz pray that i will ready mentally. Take away all fears. Let me be a cheerful giver.
N i pray whoever receive it will make good use of it. Amen.




"There are so many people in world, he cares.
That he forget tat i might need some warmth.
There are so many possibilities that he made possible.
But why didn't him make possible for us.
There are so many orh so many name that he remembers.
That he juz left out mine
There i stand. Waiting.
 Orh you dun know you just dun know

Perhaps he know,
Perhaps he don't.
That i love him so.
That i hate him so.
That i miss him so.
That i crave him so.

Orh he just dun know
Orh babe maybe he might know
That i love him so.But it hurts that no words can be told to him

That i hate him so.
That i miss him so.
That i crave him so.

perhaps he knows.

that i love him so . "

--- Perhaps , he knows.
By Zinc Sun

Um... If one day you are healed tell me.
Umm... if one day you re happy share with me.
Ummm... if one day you re sad cry to me.
Ummmm...if one day you needs me. Run to me.
I will be here right here. Waiting XD
cos i am still so stubborn. Still so persistent. Still so foolish.
But it is juz me. Me.me.me.
Juz accept this is me. :)

Need To go for it.

You juz need to work harder.
No Pain No Gain.

It's Friday. Say hi to our weekend that is being flooded with school work and projects. Juz need to keep mugging & reading & revising. Coz it is our fate to do so. I am so gonna to Chiong all my homework tonight. Yes i mean all. Including those that are still far from the due dates.

Math. Biology Medical. Lang Arts.
Orh no... ... I am so flooded... with homework. Hey gal goodluck. Have Fun burning you mid night oil.><

CCA. Exco Seniors step down offically. Really surprised that i am the treasurer. Okay..Lay-man's term the money keeper. CL will still need to be more more bonded kay... Especially Year 1 juniors. This is a team production
everyone needs to play a part.

CTs  are coming soon and i am still so unprepared. Need to squeeze some more time for revision.

My Birthday is around a month's time.
Many asked me what do i want.
Umm nothing much seriously, coz all that i desperately want, you guys can't give me. There is really no need for a big birthday cake or a fabulous gifts.
But need myself to work hard and get it myself. But you guys can bless me this !


- A hug.
- Spare sometime with me quietly juz let me lean on the shoulder.
- Smile at me say : Hey girl congrats you are sixteen le !

Supposingly i am very excited about this yr's birthday. But somehow this excitment juz fade. I juz wana spend with my <3 ones and take many many picture so i can add on to my sketch book collection.
Yah. That is so simple. But I wana take sometime juz spend sometime alone
with myself. Maybe going to watch the sunrise might be good.
Anywaes it is till a long way to go. See how when it gets nearer. Otherwise juz bake d cake myself will be fun too.

Xiaozi Has gotten herself a new stead. Congrats. Happy for you.
Whereas He is very busy with work. Seemed to be having some problems here
and there. Jiayous <3 you will be fine.

I am happy now.
Somehow dun care abt what ppl things n says. Cos all that they see is so worldy that they being blinded from the truth.
Why bother about it den. Live each day happy and enjoyable.

Smile and tomorrow is much a beta day.
Amen!

Nothing will seperate us from you.

Trust me. Today is acctually consider bad.

First I am Late for service. Second conflict with mum.

But everything turned well.

Amen.

Today's service is awesome. 

Thru his words i am healed spiritually.

It is juz so awesome.

For i am convinced that

neither death, nor life,

nor angels, nor heavenly rulers,

nor things that are present ,

 nor things to come, nor powers

no height, nor depth,

nor anything else in the creation

will able to seperate us from the love of god in christ jesus our lord.

romans 8: 38-39

I was broken. I fell. I was crashed. I was weakened. I was blinded.

N today thru his grace i am embrace in the peace again.

I am mended. I am strengthened. I am blessed. I filled with joy again.

Amen!

Went KTV  with Annie, Siyun, Pim n mrs koh.
Great time spent togather geting crazy.
Took dinner at my place.

N we called it a day.

Coax my little brother to bed.
Caress him n tell me that christ love him.
Hope that angels will guide him into peaceful sleep.

WILL start fastin tomorrow. XD

Hey dear friends. (annie, the f4s, n many others)

Thanks you guys for all d encouragement. I am okay. No worries.
Life needs to have some up n down. N it is thru experiencing and
going thru challanges that will mould n shape me. N let me turned to the lord n
be spiritually stronger, n be solid in faith.

You see my cup that is filled with joy will be emptied. But it will be filled again.

Like a cycle, that never fail to continue.

I bless all the tears n laughter.

I should enjoy each second of the life

be sorrow or joy

Cos it is all planned with a purpose

N in the end everything will still turn out to be great.

Thanks abba father.

N my friends : )

如果这是爱情

Seriously, my mood is very bad today.
Really bad.
I hate misunderstandings.
I really do.

It is raining.
Heavily.
Cats n dogs.

Can i ran in the rain.
Can i dance in the water.
Can i cry n scream.

I am really chill now.
Juz that i detest all these terrible things that are going on.
Whatever.
Dear lord i let you take over everything.
I shall let not worry.

Cos everything will be solve by you.
But the process is painful.
N you know how much sorrow is here.
I still carry myself in your faith.


I need to "add oil"
anyone can donate some ?? ><

Piss me off n you re dead.

Yeah! Me... Shirley tohwenjing is officially motivated ! N today is such a nice nice day....
Lessons n Lessons. == Flooding us with notes n work... Being students is not easy !
You see. Everyday we already spent 1/3 of our time sleeping (sometimes less than that) then spent another 1/3 or more in school... den by the time we reached home still need to revise n do the homework ...

Haiz... being a student is not easy T.T.
Den during Math lesson, i suggested to Rachael tat we shall count the value of everything in our pencil case.
So we ended up pouring everything inside the case n start caculating. To our horror.... our pencil is really very valuable leh !!! You see my pencil case is already $10 bucks (around there) plus the color pens ect...
everything added up to more than $50 ... Rachael's is even worse... With her converse pencil case plus the timedrive ect.. cost roughly $90 plus... TSK.. TSK... I REALLY DARE NOT TO LOSE MY PENCIL CASE!

Tohwenjing is motivated to work hard n start saving up. Wanted to make a deal with my dad. To open a Cafe for me @ 21. Dun know why juz feel lyk having this earge to start my own business??

Got to go for mrs koh's class later. Meeting the gals n we will discuss about our bukit timah trekking outting... cool isn't it. Wanted to go wind surfing too but hate the sunlight... dun wan turn dark .... ==

Orh i am having a little bet with myself. See who's heart is harder ba. XD Today I learned that flirting n friendy is the same. Thanks Kaixin. Maybe we are all blinded by rumours n had become too judgemental.
The one thing i always tried my best in to keep in low profile perhaps that is the best protection overall.

I need time to fly faster. I need it to speed up. Tell me is there a medicine for people to turn old over one night. She juz can't le.

Dear lord, If everything is planned with a good purpose can you try to peace my panicking heart.
I am rushing. I am running. N i am tired. Yet i wouldn't allow myself to stop.
Cos she is waiting
Jiayou !!!! Tohwenjing XD

I will be there. If you ask

  It's another wednesday.
 School is as usual boring == but brain cracking. LUV biology medical science lesson in the classroom.
Glad that it is not practical Cos. I will really fall asleep during practical lesson.... I seriously dun mind having theory lesson n just sit back n take down notes.
To me this way of study is more easier and more effective.
Anyways. Start to worry about the upcoming tests n assessments. Beta start mugging n revising.

Had CHAMPS lesson in school's auditorium which is absolutely no as good as what we all expected.
N thru out the whole dialogue session with our principal i was having a good time sleeping ==''
Rachel was like : You really can sleep everywhere..
Yea right i really can sleep anywhere. As long as i am tired XD n i still can hear what's going on !

Cool isn't it.

 Silently. I feel my heart stoned. I feel it is getting

  little protection with the walls n distancing, perhaps it is good

  Time is always the best healer. I trust this cos even the deepest memories can

   fade. Leaving behind only the prints of smiles n laughers.

Life got to move on.

No one will really forsake their life for another. Other then Christ.

. Dun look-back. Keep going.

Life is so unpredicable.

Life is so exciting.

Dun let time fly away.

Use it wisely to create your joy n happiness.

Good day my friend.

Fading away.

If all feelings are meant to fade away.

Then Let it be.

Sunday. Sunday.Sunday.

Wenjing. Wenjing. Wenjing.

What are you thinking ?

What is up there in your mind?

What is there in your eyes?

Many tell me that they dun understand me.  i dun really understand too. Cos Sometimes it is good to not use use your brain. But follow your heart n feel. Sometimes it is enjoyable for your mind to be blank. Does this explain to why i like to jump topic n my randomness? Yea... i suppose soo...

Finally i ve realised that. Sunday Actually you dun love anyone, even him.

Love is such a big n holy word. No one can love anyone with a pure n no intention heart.

This is man's nature.

There certain people in my life. I really care. I really adore.However  Not until that extend that i love.

Maybe cherish is a beta word.

He asked me to say what is my mind. He told  me to ask my doubts.

But i dun have. Serious. It is not the same anymore, not like what i used to be. Dun need to make good use of the brain cells and keep thinkin. Tryin to be understanding will only bring misunderstanding. Trying to be somebody will only ended up to be nobody.

Thus there is no need to ask, to think, to worry, to doubt. Just feel n follow the instinct.

I realised this habit of mine.

I like to avoid people's eyes.

Somehow.

 I like to stare straight.

 somehow.

I am orh so weird.

But i am still me.

I dun care if you likes me or not.

It is still me.

I dun ve to change for anyone.

Go ahead n judge me .

I have already done my part n duty to god.

To not hurt people.

But i will not let people hurt me.

SomeHow feelings are fading away.

Not having desire to do anythin.

In life, there is things to explore n experience.

But not everything. I know my limits.

I know what is stop at the right timing.

But keep this in mind.

You ought not to hurt others.

Cos it is a cycle.

If you wana care n love people.

Carry a pure n intentionless heart.

Dun expect any return

For you did it out of own will.

So you should not blame others in the end.

Cos it's human's nature to take things for granted.

Dear lord when i focus on you let things around me fade away.

So as Facebook n him.