☜♥☞ Climbing the moutain ☜♥☞

We got to move on.

Keep climbing.

Keep trying.

No matter how hard.

No matter how painful.

Now matter wat it takes.

I just nid to go on my own way.

If , God had given me any chance

to choose the path again.

I would still do the same.

I will make it okay.

I will.

I can.

I will.

................................

You know it is not that hard.

Just finished everything i am supposed to do.

I was late for work today.

Glad that our da jie wasn't there.

Ermm i am worrying about the online sales...

wat if i couldnt reach my sales target...

I nid to do many things ....

- Prepare for my coming music exam

- Get ready for school

- Complete my project

zong zhi wo tai duo shi yao zuo le...

working really hard

i had went out wif annie n siyun

today.

fun of cors.

we went to have our lunch at city hall at the japanese restaurant

where mrs koh had treated us a meal.

The food is nice

and we gals enjoyed if of cors.

Den we proceed to bugis, for some shopping.

Annie wana get a dress...

It really took a long time to find something she really like.

Around 4 we went to the shop  where i work.

Da jie was there n she gave the gals really gud discount on the items there.

Hahaha...

da jie is so so nice man...

As usual work is rather boring n tiring.

We wanted to go to pub 

to celebrate our x'mas there but i did not go in the end.

Reason 1: Dun wan spend money for i nid save up money

reason 2 : Too exhausted n lazy haha

Reason 3: Feeling unsecured n dun wish to sin against god

But i wana go n see leh

wonder how is it onside haha

next time ba n i will go wif pim dear or siyun.

Perhaps. maybe. if

i  will really nid to work very hard at the shop le

if my basic payment $600

i guess i will be able to reach $ 800 plus plus for my overall income

hopefully i am able to reach $10000

after 1 yr

so jiayou !

Knowing her is a surprise .

Start working yesterday.

This is my 1st time working without letting my family knows.

Yeah.

I know they wouldn't let me.

But i ve got to work.

So i can save enuf money to go to for the courses i wan to.

No way am i gonna ask money from dad n mum

for the things i "wan"

i think it is onli fair.

N i wan to get use to the feeling of depending more on myself.

I will be okay.

working is quite tiring.

for u got to stand for hours n when there is too many people

you will be in a big mess.

at 1st i dun noe the price of the clothes so i just got to keep as "da jie"

abt it.

haiz haiz haiz a green horn ....

anyway i made 2 more friends there ^^

jingjing haha quite similar to my name

but i called myself sunday there

for dun wan to use my real name

but gonna change my english name to dat too 0.0

she is nice.

N another gal call Coco

To me knowing her is my surprise

if i had not got this job.

I guesse the both of us will never met.

we r just like the north n south.

U know.

She is really brave.

But i know i can never become somebody like her.

She is onli 17 n is totally living on herself.

Quiting school from anderson.

Perhaps she had regretted

but she is still happy n lively.

Dearest coco.

How i wish ur live will be different.

But still as long as u r happy.

Sunday will give u support k.

So x'mas at pub?

haha

i look forward on knowing more about u

as work together in 2010

Hero inside

I realised .

I understood wat she meant i will hate her.

Trust me i still loves u as eva.

No change.

Mrs wong told me to not add weight n  responsiblity

on my shoulders anymore.

For in the end one day i will turn out hating my mum.

I agreed wif her advice.

Sometimes i do blame her.

I blame God too.

I blame.

I hate.

I wonder.

I realised.

Den

I choose to let it go.

Let it be the way it is.

For it is already the best i can do in my boundaries.

I saw her white hairs.

I saw her winkles.

I saw her fragile shoulders.

I saw her sorrow .

So

how am i not to carry more.

I noe, i love her.

I dun have much time though.

Only ten yrs.

I am still looking for the hero inside me.

She will tell me if i had made a rite choice

She will give me the strength to keep holding on.

She will tell me to get numbed n do wat i am suppose not wat i want.

I got to be strong.

I ve to be brave.

I must be wise.

Mrs koh.

i miss u now.

If u were here

how i wish u were

for the secrets dat i ve never dare to tell anybody except

u n lord.

I am still climbing

still moving

still holding

still struggling

yet i am happy though

for sorrow can't melt

my  troubles.

Still . holding on

No matter how hard it is.

you just got to keep moving on.

Just keep trying

keep climbing

This hols is nice .

wana do a lot of things but did not really complete

haiz

yesterday uncle suggested to me on spending a fews in THAILAND

wow

yeah it should be nice rite

Look forward to the shopping spree there....

Now i am gonna to start work le

i will be really exhausted in the end of the day

but i still look forward on knowing the different tatics n skills

i am gonna to learn from my boss

here i am really gonna step into the real world.

Love n respect my uncle so much.

He is always so wise

teaching me so many things n ect

giving me his support

i just hope he wouldnt be that tired

n will be able to go for hols wif us someday.

So Dear god let me be strong n tough

let me be wise n calm k

we will be okay.

i will be come the somebody oneday.

Looking forward to wednesday.

Really looking forward to wednesday!!!

At 1st we were about to go out as normal

shopping

movie e

eat

den go home huh....

that is very very very broring....

so sian that make me feel like not going lololo

hahaha

anyway

me n siyun thought of this perfect plan!!

so clever lo....

We r going to the beach @ east coast

cycling

fly kite n

picnic there

hurray

oh yeah

wana to roller blade too XD

i just wish pim daring is here with us ...

Okay me n siyun decided...

we guys will meet @ 10 at the coffee shop where we used 2 have breakfast

n after dat we can buy some stuff n food at the near by supermarket

before we proceed to my house to take more food n stuff needed at the beach

haha

be4 12 we should be able to make way to the beach le XD

maybe in the afternoon we can go catch a movie n take dinner at swensengs

or sakae?

how about going orchard n see the christmas lightings?

for so long we ve not get together le...

miss u guys ah...

pim

i wish u were here wif us ....

fly back immediately lo...

Today i ve got my lesson

must pratice violin n complete a lot of stuff

gonna buy books today too

today should be fine rite...

Today is Fun~~~

Planned to really STUDY 2DAY....

okay anyway i did~~

Went to Changi Airport with my rocking frens ~~

siyun n annie...

Wanted to study ~~

and ect....

Well i am feeling that world is such a lovely place

oh yeah

love my frens i am having

love my study n school

love my family kays

love myself ~~

God!! Our daddy king thanks for the day XD

so we took out lunch n ve some fun chatting

den we go to study

until 4 plus plus

took lots of cool pics ~~

XD

really nice n valuable to me ....

SO in the afternoon i went the gymn wif angeline

for 2 hours

enjoyed it ahaha

wanted to go gymn more often now ^^

love her !!

tooooooooooo....

her accompany make me feel sooooo gud ahaha....

Planned to go church n sunday wif siyun n annie ...

wanted siyun 2 get know to god n be saved ....

hopefully she can feel his holy presence ....

god everything will be okay right ...thanks for the blood n gift of the living water

AMEN!

WILL BE GOING TO WILD WILD WET ON WED

sooooooooooooooooooo

excited kays....

Will i get some sun burn ~~

hopefully not leh ....

kay love my day hahaha

Feeling really happy oh yeah

Woke up in the morning and read msg

from my 1st buyer ....

Damn happy oh yeah ~~

Sold 2 clothes n a add on

Feeling really hopefull now^^

Went out to shopping with Angeline....

We went to bugis , city hall

ect.....

Have long talk n really have fun with each others' company

Love her k....
I hope she sees what she wana do n really go for it.
To me, she is really similar to who i once was.
So i hope i can guide her n teach her something that i ve learnt.
God, my heavenly father bless her n i pray she will be saved 2.

Well each time we get 2gather we went end up being really lucky 

So we found 2 jobs vacancy at 2 shop...
I am looking forward to work with her....
i believe we will make things great when we work together ^^

ANGEL let us jiayou haha

And gonna go n a flyer distribution on sat...

Erm happy ~~

Because i am really saving money for courses n my violin...

Today saved 200 in my account

keep it up...

i will work really hard to reach the stars

i will  keep my head high

i will never let you touch the deepest part of me

I will make every move n step firm

I will fight every battle with my pride

even if i will lose

I will face the struggles n not breaking

I will smile towards the dawn.

Just got to keep pushing on....

Christmas coming soon...

THIS WEEK...

Going out almost everyday...

2moro i am meeting angeline..to somewhere far?

then on friday going to study with siyun at airport...

wow....

so i beta do some work tonight

n pratice violin 2moro morning....

got to learn to play a new piece n learn the score by heart...

wana sign up for courses like korean n japanese in CC

should i ....

maybe i should take small steps.

Christmas...

Have not been going to church n pray le..

i should not....

i dun backslide...

Lord forgive me...

so where are we spending christmas...??

maybe somewhere not sooo crowded...it will be nice..

woooo...

my bow spoiled.

Bought new one at 50 bucks...haiz...see money is spend like water...

wahahahaa love the way things are now...

oh yeah looking forward to the day we can all meeet...

on next friday rite?

miss u guys...

so get ready to get sun burn hahaha

December ... Nice or Not

Been  talking 2 Jia for the pass few days....

He is really emo lo...

haiz... should i tell small aunt about it

n let aunt tell Hui aunt to take care of him...

He lacks of care n concern from the family lo...

Hope he is beta ....

From our conversation

Can feel he is really lonely n lost...

Glad he is still alrite to share wif me.

Planned to go out wif siyun n the group to wild wild wet...

Maybe next weekk... see 1st ba...

Dun wana get sun burn lo....

Meetin Siyun 2 study l8ter...wana finnish all the work 2 day...

hopefully i can...

Got 2 pratice violin also...

haiz...

haiz...

things r stacking up for me  ..........

Mum cried to me last night....

But wat can i do...

I wish i could make her feel beta ... but i can't

Am i going to pass d  BD present to don? dun noe yet ...

anyway he like it...

haha..

oh still have not bought the text books yet...

Must really go buy le.... sianzzzz...

Haiz it seem to me dat december is a bit boring....

wat to do...

just forcus on the work den...

haiz haiz

Finnaly Homed.

Finnaly homed.

Oh yeah

Luggage 2 heavy got to pay 100 dollars

heart broken....

Although it is not total nice there

but i miss them.

Miss them forcing me 2 eat more.

Miss them making me 2 wear more.

Miss them nagging .

I will onli go back after 5 yrs

Sad right.

Anyway i still lookforward to the daay.

But i will onli go during summer no more

winter.

It is too cold n not really fun lor....

Get know to Lin jia .

My cousin's cousin .

Called sis.

Lo

onli older than him by 10 month lo.

Nice guy.

Hope he isn't that emo lo.

Haiz

Thanks for the watch Lin Jia.

I hope you will be happy n all welcome to visit me.

Let her go ba.

Dun tie the both of you up.

You will be happier to let go.

I realised alot of things after i come back.

The world i'm in is not big enuf.

N i should go n see the bigger world.

But all this comes wif conditions.

N hard work is needed for all.

Smile n look forwards each new day^^.

Last Last Sunday with Mrs Koh

You know. I know . We know.




Woke up. Changed. Left for the last class wif mrs koh.
Carrying the farewell gift.
This is gonna be the last sunday isn't it?
Sadly to say. It is.

We didn't do much work 2day. I guesse it is alrite since it is
ouw very last day wif her .....
Haiz.....Dun like goodbyes.

Played Truth n Dare as a class.
Really entertaining.
It is hilarious to see every process.
It is warming to hear every laughter
It is touching to feel the love n bonding between us
Thanks Mrs Koh tis is one of the most precious gift you ve brought to us.
Thanks for teaching me Love.
Love that will stay wif me forever.
Reflecting now, i regretted saying Love sucks.
It is not.
Love between friends.
Love between family
Love between people.
They were all precious gems to anybody
As you wrote in da msg to me
Love is just a word
But we can give it meaning.
Yeah it is so true n it has inspire me.....

You evil woman.
How can you walk into our hearts without a sound
leaving unerasable footprints n walk off like tis.
Dear we will miss you.

You re not only my teacher.
You re like my mum
You re like my friend
You re like my advicer.
And to us we love you because you re penny Koh

We actually wanted to make you cry.
Den we ourself ended up flooding the room with tears
I told myself i will not cry.
N i did not till the very last moment when i hugged u tightly.

Let us remember all tis sweet memory.
N i will do as wat i promised . See you in 10 yrs time
At that time you will see a much stronger Wj who learned to live for herself.
Sry teacher i can't live for myself right now
N when i had complete my task i will go n fly in the world that i really want.

Had you remember what i told you b4.
I desire to be a doctor who serves for the poor n
sick in Kenya, in south africa
I believe one day i will be able to travel to the rural countries
You will give me your utmost support right ^^

I bless you n wish all the best in embarking your new journey.
May god bless you !

Without a word.

Without a word.  by 9th street (You're beautiful ost)
Love this song find the music background really nice n
love its lyrics


I shouldn't have done that
I should have just ignore it
Like something that i couldn't see
Like something that i couln't see
I shouldn't have looked at you at all
\
I should have run away
I should have acted like I didn't hear it
Like something i couldn't hear
I shouldn't have listened to love at all

Without a word you let me know love
Without a word you gave me love
You even made me hold of your breath
But you run away like this

Without a word love left me
Without a word love tossed me away
What should i say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own
Coming without any words

Why does it hurt so much?
Why does it hurt continously?
Expect for the fact that i can't see you anymore
And that you are not here anymore
Otherwise it is the same as before

Without a word you let me know love
Without a word you gave me love
You made me hold of your breath but you ran away like this
Without a word love left me



Without a word love tossed me away
What should i say next?
My closed lips were surprised on their own
Coming without any words

Without a word tears fall
Without a word my heart breaks down
Without a word i wait for love
Without a word i hurt because of love
I zone out, become a fool, because i cry looking at the sky
Without a word farewell finds me
Without a word the end comes to me
I think my heart was surprised to send you away without any preparation
It came without a word

Without a word it comes and leaves
Without a word it comes and leaves
Like the fever before,maybe i just need to endure the hurt for a while
Because in the end only scars are left.....


I love this korean song. The singer really touched my heart....

31st Oct morning

Took Brunch.

I consider dat my breakfast+ lunch.

Planned 2 go out wif siyun n daniel l8ter.

She wanted 2 go shopping.

I nid 2 bring daniel 2 eat long john.

Dad gave me money for my trip.

It is alot.

Auntie gave me some yesterday.

for she wanted me 2 help her buy some stuff.

Mum will gave me allownace 2.

Uncle will i guess.

So should i say it is a advantage for me to

have 2 families. = _="

I love the way things r now.

Simple n peaceful.

At least i am feeling the serenity inside me.

There is still many things i ve got 2 learn.

I know i have 2.

The world i am seeing is too small.

Too small.

I thirst for more.

I thirst for the big blue sky.

N i know i will n i can.

As simple as that.

Need not of flowery words. Need not of dramatic expressions.

Just feel it.

Feel it.

Sometimes.

You dun have say anything.

To show that how much you care n

love.

Keep it silent.

Keep it silent.

They will know it.

They will feel it.

Dun seek for anything.

Dun expect for anything.

So

you dun feel the fruitless pain.

You won feel the disappointment.

Lift your head up high.

Look at the clear blue sky.

Somewhere up there, where blue birds fly.

Dream it.

And one day you will see it.

N you shall make it your own stage.

It is as simple as that.

Last Day at Malan road.

Last day. Goodbye Malan road.

Moving school.

So goodbye old campus n hello new campus

today i was struggling... deciding whether i should go for CCA

Yeah i did.

Glad 2 say that i enjoy it. Had medicitative walk n some games

before seeing the seniors acting the show.

Well wif Laoshi's guidance i realised there is many things

that drama is veri interesting.

Planned 2 go out wif the gals 2day.

Have fun crapin wif them.

Always enjoy going out wif them.

They came my house afterwards.

Same thing i cooked noodles n bring alot of food

into the room haha

they said i am making them fat again.

Pim used the hair stick that J had given me.

I remembered it was his last gift for me.

It looked really nice on her.

I insisted giving it to her.

At one moment i actually feel something.

For it is from him. N it is the very last thing from him.

But i know tat i ought to let go.

If it doesn't suits me n perhaps it is fated in a way

that it dun belong 2 me.

I am glad i did it.

Meet Win after that.

Passed him the photo n the james 'score sheet.

James

Had he become a memory.

And that is it.

Perhaps so.

I bless n call for the angels 2 guide him.

Ate ice-cream 2gather.

He said he was not in a gud mood.

N 2day is the last day Don is gonna 2 stay wif him.

I can feel that he actually wanted 2 go home.

Don was waiting for him.

I told him 2 go home, for i feel that it is onli fair that

i dun take away their last night 2gather.

He said : see you.

I answered maybe i would  not see u again.

who knows.

Perhaps i won't even have a chance 2 live 2moro.

Death. It is nt that far.

It is nt fearful.

Life is so unpredicable n change is the onli constant thing.

Repeatedly i hear this song.

Ruk Tae Doo Lae Mai Dai.

Can't keep it our true love.

At 1st i dun understand the meaning of the song

Checked it on Youtube.

Really nice.

Potato's songs always touches my heart.

Pity that the singer i like wasn't here anymore.

Decided 2 go shopping wif Siyun n Bring Daniel out.

Have 2 spend more time Daniel.

I know he is lonely at times.

Sorry di di ...

jie jie will spend more time wif u k?

Think abt wat i want to do next yr.

I got to put down everythin that is

occupying my mind right now.

I know wat i want.

so i will be focus.

Arm is still aching after long hours of violin pratice.

I nid 2 work on the new song before leavin

I realised i change my attitude n perspective of viewing things.

That is gud,

I suppose it is.

Goodnigfht blog.

Je suis fatigue...

Things always dun follow it oringal plan

Sianzzzzzz.........zzzz YES it certainly is...

SCHOOL.  Fun. Yeah nt really...seeing people playin truth or dare, ect
dun really wana join in.... just wana see how they react n behave haha
well it is interesting but u will get bored afterwards...

Ms tay told us abt our class's chinese results. Overall 3rd in the whole level...good job
i am the top for the class n 2nd in the whole level. Really close the first.. by 0.6 mark?
Such a pity isn't it? If nt will be able 2 help da class get the best in subject award...
den our class we ve the most number of prize winners.. since we ve the top 4 LA n top 4 Math
as well as the 1st in da whole level...(rachel)

the feelin of getting second isn't really gud. Trust me... it is like being so close ...
n just a bit u can reach it.... den u failed haha
anyway tat also showed d importance of 1 mark... i will work harder
n do my best in ability ^^

Planned 2 meet win. Passing him the photo, sushi n score sheet....
He changed plan, said could not meet me.
I will quite busy for the rest of the week... could not reach him...
haiz ... so how abt the sushi ? dun noe .....
asked don if he is free? he answered veri busy.. i thought he could help
2 give da stuff 2 win.... beta nt 2 bother him ba...

Ermm maybe try 2 meet win 2moro.... n hopefully da sushi is still fresh...i doubt it
will be lor... haha Trying 2 call him again now... must really ask him abt the schedule..

Tiring Wednesday..

Today is a tiring day.....

School.
Everythin normal.... actually planned 2 go bugis 2 get
d gifts for granny n go 2 northpoint afterwards 2 buy some IT gadgets

Changed plan. Kaixin wana come 2 my house on 2day instead of  2moro.
1st went 2 bugis. In a rush we got the gift. Rush back 2 yishun n went 2 get the
ingredients at da supermarket... fun ... yeah it is..
For the 1st time we actually put in so much effort in givin somethin 2 our friend...
Rachael u beta appreciate the effort...

Makin Sushi isn't that easy ... anyway it is fun..... really put in alot of effort...
Made some for W n D 2 .
It tastes okay....

Today i am really 2 tired to write... after all the running n long hours of makin sushi...still ve many things 2 do.
Wana sleep ... Got 2 pack my things , wrap the gifts....
watever.... goodnight blog...
Seeing Win 2moro...

Tuesday ... POST exam blues...

Never thought dat CCA will this boring...zzz

Same time. Same routine. Same distance.
Wake up at 5.30 a.m. Take MRT to Queenstown. To school.
Haiz ... still enjoy traveling huh?

Lazy Lazy.. Dun feel like going 2 school yet something inside ur heart
is dragging u 2 get out of the bed.
School is boring 2day. Miss lessons n the busyness... wish it is still da exams period..

Had many activities... Once again there is till "dun 4get da lyrics"
How many times have i heard the song Nobody by wonder gals...
Everyone is crazy over dat song.. n it is dance...
For today i ve heard n see it for 5 times.. ..... ...
almost sick of it....

Although school is boring ... i still enjoy the time spend wif my friends..
.... oh hate it when i hear our Chairperson say d F word...
No matter how angry he is .. i dun think it is right to shout it purposely
to us. To me it is very very very rude... He will just pull down his image...
Even some said he is trying 2 act coooool... well if he wants people 2 really
like him den he should nt behave like this.. so impulsive.. maybe he wana
try n control...
haiz haiz... chairperson chairperson you should set a gud example....

CCA Is extremely boring 2day.... Seniors r training for the upcoming performance ...
so we ve 2 sit n slack 4 the whole CCA haiz haiz all i did was 2 read n listen 2 my ipod...
zzzz sianzz abit home sick 2day.. really wana go home 2 day... many thing is waitin 4 me
2 complete...

Reached home at 8.30.... sad rite? Have a nice talk wif SJ. Talking abt her relationship
n some other random things... I told her tis.. LOVE is like da 4 seasons...
Spring..Summer...Autumn.. Winter
And obviously she is in Summer... Dearest SJ ur secret adviser bless u k
Remember da sweet memories n dun bother abt da future...

Now i am preparin the worksheets. I realised that Mrs koh has given us
many useful infomation n notes. We should really use them wisely.
Thanks mrs koh n forgive us for blaming u abt d heavy work load...
i noe that you did it for our own gud...
Maybe i should call her n ask if she can give me somemore work.
Gettin the study materials from Siyun. I guesse i should ve enough work
le ba... should i bring along some books to read ... it will be very heavy...
forget abt it... i will visit da bookstore there anyway....

Called mrs koh just now. She is leavin on Sunday. Why sunday?
I hate dat she is leavin on my favourite day. I am so gonna ignore her words
... we r sooooooo going 2 stalk her ... and sent her off... will i cry?
Maybe yes. I will brin tissue 4 her 2.

2moro i must go Popular 2 buy the gadgets n stuff, oh the gifts 2. Time
is really short. Still nid 2 print out d photos .... haiz glad dat school is endin early.
Oh nid 2 buy daniel his Long John Silver 2... Busy Busy...

Arrange wif Kaixin N Rachel 2 come my house on Thursday. Gonna make sushi
for Rachael since she doesn't eat cake... dun noe wat gift 2 give her. She is a really unique
gal.

I am worring 4 mum. She seemed nt in gud mood these days. Haiz..
I shall say a prayer for her.

Dear Father in Heaven.

 I pray that my mum will be blessed in your name. May you sent ur angel
2 guide over her n show her d right way through these obstacles.
She might feel lost in times n find that hope doesn't exits anymore.
Let her noe that in your glory she shall find the rite gate n rite road.
Father, keep her out of worries n sorrows. I wana her 2 know you.
To know that only through Christ n salvation she will be saved.
Lord, teach me, teach me the right way to help her. To support her.
I love her dearly n i wana her 2 understand dat life isn't all abt
suffering n thunderstorms. There is still happiness n blue skys after the rain.
Father pls help protect her and guide her wif ur light of truth n faith.

In Jesus's mighty name, i prayed.

Amen