Hero inside

I realised .

I understood wat she meant i will hate her.

Trust me i still loves u as eva.

No change.

Mrs wong told me to not add weight n  responsiblity

on my shoulders anymore.

For in the end one day i will turn out hating my mum.

I agreed wif her advice.

Sometimes i do blame her.

I blame God too.

I blame.

I hate.

I wonder.

I realised.

Den

I choose to let it go.

Let it be the way it is.

For it is already the best i can do in my boundaries.

I saw her white hairs.

I saw her winkles.

I saw her fragile shoulders.

I saw her sorrow .

So

how am i not to carry more.

I noe, i love her.

I dun have much time though.

Only ten yrs.

I am still looking for the hero inside me.

She will tell me if i had made a rite choice

She will give me the strength to keep holding on.

She will tell me to get numbed n do wat i am suppose not wat i want.

I got to be strong.

I ve to be brave.

I must be wise.

Mrs koh.

i miss u now.

If u were here

how i wish u were

for the secrets dat i ve never dare to tell anybody except

u n lord.

I am still climbing

still moving

still holding

still struggling

yet i am happy though

for sorrow can't melt

my  troubles.