Under the Spell

I Had a long night with Xiao Zi.
Just Now.
Chat and share. All crap like we used to.
Yea. She is right. Just like under some kinda of spell , silently we seemed to come to this agreement to avoid some topic and issue. No one mentioned anything about what had happened. Should i say it is good or bad ?
I won't broach about the past anymore. Not worth n no use to say anything right now when everything is over. Just let it walk by and let me just lie to myself that nothing had happened.

She said i am difficult to see thru. Like pim had once told me too. Jing ah dun hide too much.
Yea i hide, I avoid. Cos i fear too much. Even i dun understand myself sometimes. Just live it ba.
One second i can be so blur and another i can be some sensitive.

Weird and strange.
Just like i feel cold in the night and burning warm in the day.
Things might not eva the same as the begining. Cos no matter how hard we try to rewind the time.
It just won't work. Just let us all learn to forget and start anew. Take it easy n slow. Things will change.
Hearts will be binded again. Broken pieces will be connected once again.

Annie Lim once told me : you r really complicated yet try so hard to live simple.
I laughed at that. I really do my best to think simple. But can't help.
You just won't understand.
Cos i dun understand too.
God. Only you know wat is the best for me. I lift everything up to you .


I wana do many many crazy things that i won't. I can't. I shouldn't.
I  wana sneak out of the house one day in the middle of the night and go starbucks for caramel frappe.
I wana scream at the roof top: I am a idiot.
I wana find my sweet escape.
I wana sit by the riverside that we used to n play with fireworks again.
I wana look straight to her eye with no more fear and say: Once a bitch foreva a bitch. N you r one.
I wana tell the him : You r a jerk and such a joke. For d past 3 yrs.
I wana tell you how gud you look in your school uniform and the lesson you taught me about expectations.
still saddens me.
I wana tell her that i dun blame you but i just can't forget. And i still love you in my way.
I wana tell him that you are the best guy i eva meet but you are worst too.
I wana tell me that: Jing . Once broken, Mend it, hide it or throw it. It is still broken.


Under the spell, my wishes turn so true. And it just happened to be a dream.